


7 Ways To Say I Love You

by SerMisty



Series: PolyPearls [20]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Blue Pearl is mute, F/F, Multi, White Pearl Theory, hooray for the pearlshipping bomb!, not exactly the polypearls bomb I wanted but very very close enough, probably mentions of Garnet and Rose and Steven
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-19 17:51:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 7,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7371670
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SerMisty/pseuds/SerMisty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, you don't have to say <i>"I love you"</i> to mean it. </p><p>[1] Don't Go<br/>[2] You're A Mess<br/>[3] What Are You Wearing?<br/>[4] Just Us<br/>[5] I Hate You<br/>[6] They're Free <br/>[7] We Too</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Don't Go

**Author's Note:**

> So, you guys, you will see me very active this week! 7 days, 7 short stories - short mostly because I'm still studying like mad for my oral exam and I can't write so much at 2am sorry - based on 7 prompts that I have in my askbox, all to celebrate the pearlshipping bomb that has been announced ( http://pearlshippingbomb.tumblr.com/post/146321651957/were-still-waiting-for-those-new-episodes-and )  
> I hope you'll enjoy, and long live polypearls! 
> 
> [anonymous asked:  
> Polypearls having a cuddly night together??] 
> 
> So yeah, let's start with a prompt that I have had in my askbox for AGES and that... Emm... I actually haven't followed much? Or at all tbh? But it inspired me so... Yeah. Sorry, anon. Anyway, enjoy this first fic!

«Blue». 

Her voice tries to come out as a warning, as a scold, but it ends up resembling more a plea. Blue’s hands tighten around her waist, so much that if she had a real need to breathe she would have troubles doing it, and she presses her body against Pearl’s back until the surface of her gem almost hurts. 

«Blue, let go». 

She forces herself to sit upright, not giving in to Blue’s desperate and silent request to lay back down. Blue’s arms are around hers, keeping her still, and she knows that if she truly wanted she could just break free, but she doesn’t. 

«Blue, please». 

But Blue doesn’t listen. Pearl feels her head shaking in denial against her back, and her grip tightens more than she believed it was possible. The grip forces a sigh out of her chest.   
Another sigh follows as Yellow also rises in a sitting position, stroking her shoulder. The couch is hard and bumpy and rough – this is a pearl’s room, after all, it’s not like it has to be anything else – but it felt comfortable just a few minutes before, when the three of them were laying there.   
Yellow avoids to look at her and lowers her head, talking almost in between her knees. 

«Don’t go». 

Pearl closes her eyes. She remembers the pressure of Yellow’s forehead on her shoulder, Blue’s cheek against her chest – they’re all memories from a minute before, but it already feels like a decade has passed. 

«You know I have to».   
«I do. But it would feel pointless if I didn’t try». 

Yellow knows, and Blue does too, but Blue can be stubborn when she wants to. She shakes her head against Pearl’s back and Pearl can feel the fabric of her shirt wetting with her tears.   
When Yellow turns around, this time Pearl meets her stare. If there’s a hint of sadness, perhaps a hint of tears, she is careful to hide it with a blink. 

«Don’t go».   
«They’re probably wondering where I am, back at the camp».   
«Then let them wondering». 

Pearl can imagine it. She can see Rose searching for her, puzzled, maybe slowly getting worried when she doesn’t find her; she can picture Garnet avoiding her questions, because she knows, she _must_ know, and still if she has said nothing she either doesn’t See or doesn’t understand.   
She can picture all of that, but Blue’s grip is tight and Yellow’s eyes are cold. 

«What are you going to gain from this?» she sighs, trying a different route to escape. «If I don’t go now, I’ll go when morning comes. What really happens is that we have more chances of being caught».   
«Since when you worry about the dangers of being caught, _White_?» Yellow hisses, and there’s venom in her tone. She doesn’t conceal it. 

While Blue keeps holding her, squeezing her arms until they hurt, Pearl slowly shakes her head as to answer a question that has never been posed. It’s useless for her to stay – but it’s useless for her to come back, too, and still she does it. More often than she is likely to admit. 

«Don’t go» Yellow repeats, clearly struggling to make it sound like an order and not a plea. It's funny how similar they are in this, but no, maybe it's not. «Stay. Just for tonight». 

Pearl vaguely remembers this scene happening already once or twice before, but ignores the feeling for now. Her body stops resisting, and Blue can easily drag her back down on the bumpy couch, placing one arm around her to keep her there. 

«Just for tonight» Pearl concedes, voice low. Blue kisses her cheek again and again, wiping away her tears on her skin. Yellow slowly lays at her side once more, her hand searching Pearl’s, her eyes drifting away. 

One day – one night – they will need to talk about this. But not now.   
One day – one night – Pearl will ask if Yellow knows that there is another set of words that she could use to make her stay, and that it would work just as fine.   
One day – one night – Yellow will tell her that she knows. But why use those words, if the others do work just as fine?


	2. You're A Mess

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [anonymous asked:   
> Polypearls prompt : Blue and Yellow trying to cook , or Pearl teaching them how to cook?] 
> 
> Day 2 of the pearlshipping bomb! This one is fluff. I will carefully alternate fluff and angst for these 7 fics, in which "carefully" has to be interpreted as "completely randomly" but oh well. I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> (and yes here you will find a clear quote of the baking scene from The Sleeping Beauty, judge me freely)

«This is absolutely the stupidest thing-»   
«Yellow».  
«I mean _why_ do humans need to-»   
«Please be careful with those».   
«I just don’t get why-» 

The rest of Yellow’s complaint gets suppressed by a loud crash. Pearl, who has her back turned, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before turning around to check the damage. 

« _I told you_ to be careful with those». 

Yellow stares at the eggs at her feet – or what is left of them. She steps back to place her feet on safe ground, then crosses her arms. 

«You didn’t tell me they would break» she retorts.   
«They are _made_ to be broken».   
«Why?» 

Pearl blinks and stops, her hands already around a towel. 

«I don’t know» she admits. «But humans eat them».   
«That’s stupid». 

Before Pearl can say anything else – humans do eat a lot of things that she finds stupid, to be fair – Blue appears at her side. She holds the baking cookbook they have found in the dreadful mess that is Amethyst’s room, and taps with a finger on a specific line, chewing on her bottom lip. 

«“Two eggs”» Pearl reads. «Well. I have one here. But the others are gone». 

Yellow rolls her eyes and mutters. 

«You didn’t tell me» she justifies.   
«I think it will work fine with just one egg». 

Blue doesn’t look like she’s entirely convinced. Even if her hair cover her eyes, the slight motions of her head are a sign that she is glancing from the cookbook to the bowl on the counter and back.   
Pearl gently nudges her, smiling reassuringly. 

«Hey, don’t worry» she says. «The cake is going to be perfect by the time Steven comes home». 

Blue still appears doubtful, but smiles nonetheless. She places the book on the counter, next to all the ingredients and tools that are already there – cocoa powder, chocolate chips, whipped cream, milk, flour, butter, the single survivor egg, various mixing bowls and spoons, and a mixer. In the bowl that stands up in the middle the batter is ready, it just needs some more additions to make it _edible_. A detail that doesn’t make any difference to Pearl anyway. 

«What else do we need?» she wonders as she walks next to Blue. Remembering just in time to jump and avoid the mess on the floor, she shoots an amused but scolding look at Yellow and hands her the towel. «Do you mind?» 

Yellow mumbles something incomprehensible but probably not quite nice between her teeth, snatching the towel from Pearl’s hand and kneeling to clean what’s left of the eggs. 

«What I don’t get» she keeps complaining, grimacing at the disgusting mush, «is _why_ we’re doing this».   
«We promised Steven a cake» Pearl says.   
« _You_ promised Steven a cake».   
«You seemed to agree».   
«Before I understood we had to make it!»   
«Oh, come on. It’s not so difficult». 

She hasn’t even closed her mouth when a second crack in the span of five minutes makes her regret having turned around. Blue has her hands in the batter and is now immobile, surprised and embarrassed. Pearl takes a quick glance around – the disappearance of the last egg, together with the line in the cookbook that says “fold in gently”, is enough to have a clear idea of what has just happened. 

«You guys» she shakes her head, smiling with resignation. Gently moving Blue’s hands away, she checks in the batter and nods when the bits of the egg’s shell confirm her suspects. «You really have no idea of how eggs works».   
«’Cause you do» Yellow retorts in a smirk, still cleaning the floor.   
«I do, thank you very much. I’ve fought enough birds to have a reasonable knowledge of eggs’ properties».   
« _Amazing_. Then teach us». 

Pearl would turn around to give Yellow a proper reply, but she prefers helping Blue with the last ingredients. Together, carefully, they put in flour, milk and cocoa powder, then butter and – they don’t have sugar, but Pearl assures to a hesitant Blue that salt will work just as well. They look the same, after all.   
In the end – more or less when Yellow finishes cleaning and throws the towel in the sink with a disgusted moan – the batter looks weird, compact, and not edible at all. Blue crosses her arms, shaking her head slowly, and Pearl checks the cookbook for advice. 

«Oh!» she smiles after a quick reading. «Of course! We need to mix it first, and then put it in the oven».   
«What’s a oven?» Yellow asks, peeking from Pearl’s shoulder.   
«That thing» Pearl points at an indistinct point behind them. «Can you put it on, uh, these numbers?» 

She hands Yellow the cookbook and points at the oven again. Yellow takes a look at the instructions, frowns, and then goes back to smirking. 

«You have no idea of what these mean» she realizes.   
«I’m fully aware of what those mean» Pearl objects.   
«Then why don’t you do it?»   
« _Because_ , you said you wanted to learn». 

Yellow rolls her eyes, but after another glance at the book, she still is completely clueless about what she’s supposed to do. There is clearly only one respectable solution. 

«Blue, you do it» she places the book in Blue’s hands and walks off. «I’ll help White with the mix thing». 

Blue giggles silently, amused. She has more patience than both of them, so she kneels in front of the oven and tries to understand how it works.   
Near the counter, Pearl attaches the plug of the mixer with an unsure look, twisting it in her hands to find the ON switch.   
Yellow keeps grinning. 

«You can admit you’re lost, you know».   
«I know exactly what I’m doing».   
«Sure you do».   
«Watch and learn» Pearl concludes, plunging the mixer into the batter with a violence that should betray her insecurity, and hitting the ON switch she has just found. «Prepare for the biggest _I-told-you-so_ of your life». 

Well. 

It doesn’t go exactly like she has planned. 

It all happens so quickly that nobody has the time to react. The batter almost explodes under the power of the mixer, and it comes out splashing everywhere, on the counter, on the floor, mostly across Pearl’s face. She lets go of the mixer with a screech and it keeps twisting, bringing the bowl with it in its own will, until they fall from the other side of the counter and the plug comes off. The mixer, that damn thing, dies, and the bowl stops twirling, laying on the floor, by now empty. 

Silence follows, but not for long. Yellow bursts out in a loud laugh, so strong that she needs to hold her belly with one hand and grab the counter with the other. A little bit of the batter has ended on her leotard, but it’s nothing if compared to Pearl, who is trying with shaky hands to wipe the sticky mixture away from her face. The only one completely safe and sound is Blue, still kneeled in front of the oven, who has had the readiness to hide behind the cookbook; she peeks out from it, and giggles at the scene. 

It takes a whole minute for Yellow to stop laughing, and in the meantime Blue gets on her feet and helps Pearl clean herself up – tries, at least, because she needs to cover her mouth when she starts to laugh, too. Pearl only rolls her eyes. 

«So» Yellow snickers, trying to regain her breath, «who was the one with the reasonable knowledge of how baking works?»   
«Eggs» Pearl corrects. «I know how _eggs_ works. More or less. That’s it».   
«Look at you» Yellow shakes her head, still amused, then licks her thumb and wipes away a trickle of batter from near Pearl's lips. «You’re a mess». 

Pearl’s cheeks blush a little, but the chocolate splashed on her face makes it impossible to notice. Her lips curl in a smile and then she starts laughing too, all of sudden, because _yes_ , yes she is. 

«Maybe it’s best if we ask Garnet for help» she gives in.   
«Definitely» Yellow agrees. Blue brushes her finger in the mixture on Pearl’s cheek and brings it to her mouth, licking her lips. 

It’s not so bad, after all.


	3. What Are You Wearing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY I WROTE THIS VERY QUICKLY AND THIS WASN'T PLANNED AND HERE'S WHY 
> 
> http://sermisty.tumblr.com/post/146915309449/kukuithebae-oh-sweet-pearl-in-a-tuxedo-she
> 
> this was leaked and I just HAD to write some polypearls fluff with Pearl in a tuxedo. Also lapisincrocs suggested me to give Blue and Yellow dresses from the 1930' so this little thing came out.  
> Pearl in a tuxedo, guys.  
> I just had to. 
> 
> (Yellow has a thing for suits. Who would have guessed)

«I swear I’m going to kill this kid. And don’t look at me like that! I will». 

Blue’s eyes are only half-visible from under the bangs, and she looks completely unconvinced by Yellow’s threats. Yellow crosses her arms, annoyed, and the motion of her head makes the feather of the hat she is wearing bend down in front of her face; she huffs, making it fly back up, and Blue giggles silently. 

«Don’t» Yellow raises one finger at her. «Just _don’t_. And you’re wearing the same thing, you have no rights to judge».

They _are_ wearing the same thing, it only differs in color. The feather on Blue’s head is cerulean, and so is the weird dress she is wearing, with stripes of a darker shade of blue; orange and yellow are, quite naturally, the colors of Yellow’s dress. They’re both wearing thigh highs – and while they’re not a new piece of clothing for Yellow, she has to admit that seeing Blue in them is _appealing_ , to say the least. 

The reason Steven has forced them inside those weird, weird dresses is still a mystery. 

«You two look great!» just as Yellow is about to complain about him again, the kid appears from behind the door. «Jamie is really grateful that you decided to help!»  
«We didn’t decide anything, and is this Jamie responsible for _this_?» Yellow hisses, pointing at the feather that is falling in front of her face again. Blue nudges her, and gives Steven a kind smile. 

The boy scratches the top of his head, blushing a little. 

«I know it’s sudden» he admits, «but it was an emergency! Jamie really needed someone for his new show, and nobody wanted to be a part of it-»  
«I wonder why».  
«-and I assure you that the story is very good! You just need to flow with it. Nobody will notice you haven’t read the script!»  
«Is there a script?» Yellow shoots Blue a confused look, and Blue replies with a gentle shrug, just as perplexed. «Alright, but you still haven’t explained our outfits, kid». 

Steven giggles a little and Blue instinctively grabs Yellow’s hand, stroking their thumbs together – _just in case_. 

«I haven’t really understood» Steven confesses. «It’s something about old times and old fashions, but I’m not quite sure. You look great, anyway!»  
«Thanks» Yellow hisses in between her teeth. 

As the other continues muttering something about _not wanting to take any part in this barbarity_ and _she is a gem of a certain importance they cannot treat her like that_ , Blue kneels at Steven’s level and points at the hand he is hiding behind his back, tilting her head and smiling gently. 

Steven’s eyes shine and he rises his hand, showing to be holding two long strings with colorful beads all along them. 

«I made you both a necklace!» he announces, holding them up with a proud expression. «I thought they would match with your outfits. But I didn’t have enough blue and yellow beads, so I used more colors!» 

Blue joins her hands together, her smile happy and absolutely sincere. She takes one string in her hands, kisses Steven on the forehead and gets up. Steven reaches Yellow, handing her the second necklace.  
Yellow looks at him sideways, annoyed. 

«I’ll pass» she mumbles.  
«You don’t like it?» Steven asks, and his eyes stop shine, his smile disappears and _oh, for the love of stars and everything in_ -  
«No, I-» Yellow groans. «Alright, I’ll wear it». 

Steven looks absolutely thrilled as Yellow snatches the necklace from his hand and knots it around her neck with an annoyed mumble. 

«You wouldn’t happen to have one for White, too?» she then asks, the simple idea of Pearl wearing one of those _ridiculous little chains_ makes her smirk. «Where is she, anyway? I need to make fun of someone». 

«It’s nice to know you miss me». 

Yellow had a very good reply, for real, she had it; but it completely disappears from her mind when she turns around and sees Pearl standing in the doorway, leaning against the wall. 

She is not wearing one of those silly dresses – and _oh_ , does Yellow envy her for that. No, she is wearing a black suit with a bowtie and what appears to be a white shirt underneath, and she is smiling and stars, _stars_. Yellow’s hands remain in midair with the knot still between her fingers. 

«Pearl!» Steven runs up to her for his daily dose of hugs. «You look amazing!»  
«Eh. Really?» Pearl smiles and blushes, and Yellow can’t believe she is actually questioning this. «I feel a little odd».  
«No, no, you look great!» 

Blue has had a reaction similar to Yellow the moment Pearl walked in, but she snaps out of it way quicker. She holds Pearl’s hand in hers and greets her with a kiss, longer than the usual, _proper_. Pearl has the cure of covering Steven’s eyes, ignoring his mild protests. 

«You look very nice» she then observes. Blue thanks her with another kiss, just a peck this time, then turns around and offers Pearl her bare neck, bringing up the two ends of the necklace.  
Pearl immediately answers her silent request, not without slightly blushing, and knots the string. Steven wonders out loud why she’s shaking, and Blue giggles a little. 

Yellow has just found the mental strength to lower her hands when Pearl’s eyes meet hers. 

«You look quite nice too» she says, and walks closer. 

Trying to regain a composure, Yellow snorts. 

«Spare me the irony» she mutters, angrily pushing back the feather that keeps falling down. «What are you wearing, by the way? You look like one of those licorice sticks».  
«It’s called a tuxedo» Pearl grins, she _grins_ , her face is still a little flushed so she shouldn’t _grin_. «Some people find it attractive».  
«Some people are stupid».  
«You’re blushing».  
«I’m not!» 

Pearl keeps grinning, and Blue is chuckling behind them, and Yellow wonders _when_ has she become so transparent.

«Pearl!» Steven calls, oblivious to what is happening behind him, leaning out of the door. «The show is about to start, you need to go on stage!» 

Yellow sighs with relief, but she commits the great mistake of lowering her guard in front of the Renegade – their lips are locked just a second after, and _excuse you, does the tuxedo come with a shot of adrenaline?_ Damn. Her gem is _glowing_. 

Pearl draws back, and she winks, and Yellow is blushing and she despises her deeply. 

«So you don’t find this attractive» she teases.  
«Get on stage, White, before I rip that off» it’s more of a promise than a threat, but Yellow growls it the best that she can. 

Pearl actually laughs, walking away – Blue stops her one second to give her a good-luck-kiss – and pats Steven on the head before she disappears out of the door. 

Yellow realizes Blue has moved to her side only when she kisses her cheek. The feather of her hat falls in front of her face again, but she leaves it there. 

Probably a script would have been a good idea. Her mind is blank.


	4. Just Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [anonymous asked:  
> it's time to prompt you a polypearls fusion fluff don't you think?] 
> 
> My oral exam is due in two days, but it won't stop me from keeping these polypearls fic going! So yeah, a very short (sorry! I haven't had much time) fusion fluff as the anon wished. Welcome Green Pearl!

You are tall. You are big. You are green. 

Well, green-ish. Not _grass_ green, not _spring leaves_ green. More like, _sea under a certain light_ green. 

You don’t know how you know these things. 

You have two arms. You don’t know why you check this. You have two eyes – why does this surprise you? – but one of those is covered by the hair on the left side of your face.  
When you try to get up – is that sand, under your palms? – you fail. Your foot slips and you fall back, hitting the back of your head, and a wail of surprise and pain escapes your lips. 

You stop. A part of you is amazed by that simple sound. 

Is that your voice? 

You touch your throat. Your eyes are suddenly burning with tears. 

«Hello?» you try. You’re not really calling for anyone – your throat vibrates, your hand feels it, you smile and you don’t know why but you’re happy, happy, _happy_. 

«Need some help?» 

You turn around. Another gem, smaller than you – you are so big – stands at your side, smiling, stretching her hand to you. 

You know her name. It makes your smile. 

«Garnet» you say. Your hand is still on your throat and that is your voice and you need to close your eyes and take a breath because _oh stars_. «Yes, please». 

You take the hand she is offering you. She can hold only half of your palm, but that’s fine. You don’t really need her strength to get up – not her physical strength, anyway. Knowing that she’s there, with you, is enough. 

You stand on your feet and your head feels dizzy. You are almost twice as tall as Garnet and you look around, your legs shaking trying to keep you standing, watching the world and taking it in one single look.  
Garnet laughs. 

«It’s indescribable, isn’t it?» she smirks. She knows.  
«Yes» you agree. A whisper, a breath. «I feel… I am…» 

And here you stop, because you don’t know _who_ you are. You know _what_ you are – tall and green and happy and confused and – but you don’t know who you are or why you're there or what you’re supposed to do.  
You look down. 

«Who am I?» you ask. You bite your bottom lip as you wait for an answer. 

Garnet shakes her head slowly, understanding, patient. 

«I don’t know» she replies. «Who are you?» 

You weren’t expecting her to retort the question. You blink, and all of sudden you are aware of the two round gems that lay on your chest, and the oval one on your forehead. You are aware of the shoulder pads and the skirt and the pants and the socks and you feel like three hearts are beating in your chest even if technically none is. 

«I’m them» you say. 

Garnet shakes her head again. 

«No. You are you».  
«They make me».  
«You make yourself. You are yourself. Trust me». 

And you do, maybe because _they_ do, mostly because _you_ want to. You nod, slightly uncertain, and lick the dry away from your lips. 

«I’m me» you attempt. 

Garnet nods. 

«Yes. Now, who are you?» 

You don’t know. You have no idea. But in your head there are a lot of names and a lot of colors and when you speak you’re not really sure why, but you’re sure either way. 

«I’m Green». 

Garnet smiles. 

«Alright, Green. Welcome».  
«I’m – I’m not going to stay» you warn. You can feel your limbs growing tired already, and your vision going a little blurry, and your voice hoarse, and you suddenly panic because if you’re not there, then where are you? 

Garnet must feel your fears. She raises her hands to grab yours, as much as she can. 

«Don’t worry» she reassures you. «You’re going to be okay».  
«But-»  
«They care about you. Now that you’re here, you’re never going to leave». 

You believe her, again, because your chest feels warm and your gems shine and you smile one last time before you _aren’t_ anymore. 

Pearl falls on the ground first, immediately followed by Yellow and Blue. She shakes her head, touches her gem – it’s warm, it feels nice.  
Blue and Yellow both rub their chest, too. 

«That was-» Yellow murmurs. She can feel her cheeks blushing orange. «New. That was new».  
«I’m sorry» Pearl says. «We could have stayed more. I just – freaked out».  
«That was you? I was sure it was me. You should be used to fusing».  
«It was new, indeed».  
«Yeah». 

They turn to Blue. She is rubbing her neck, and they notice that tears are falling down her cheeks – they panic at first before noticing her smile, bright and wide, and relax. 

«That voice was all you» Yellow says. «I’m sure of it».  
«I agree» Pearl smiles. «It could only be you». 

Blue searches for their hands, finds them, holds them. Her chest shakes from sobs, but she’s still smiling, she’s happy, _oh_ , how happy she is. 

Garnet, who has stayed in respectful distance, makes a step further. 

«Are all of you okay?» she inquires. «Fusing for the first time is always an experience».  
«You’d know it» Yellow replies. Garnet snickers.  
«So, how did that feel?» 

They look at each other, searching for thoughts they don’t need to share to know they are all thinking. 

«It was us».  
«And it wasn’t».  
«Just us».  
«Yeah». 

Blue wipes away her tears and, still smiling, holds her hands up to form a heart. Pearl and Yellow blush and turn around, pretending they haven’t noticed.


	5. I Hate You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this one has no prompts, but I just felt like I had to write an obvious chapter I love you/I hate you, you know 
> 
> also I dedicate this to armintii who today posted an amazing polypearls fanmix and I cried 
> 
> enjoy! Hurt/comfort ahead

Sometimes Pearl feels like she will never be forgiven. 

It’s in the little things – like _most_ things. It’s in the way Blue clings at her arm, still half-dreaming, when she gets up from the couch; it’s in the way Yellow’s eyes soften for a second when she warps herself back home after a mission; it’s in the way they try, one more subtly, the other almost crystal clear, to always be around wherever she goes. 

Pearl can’t really blame them. She will never forgive herself, either. 

She knows that the matter will need to be discussed, sooner or later. It’s like a shadow, always lurking over them, threatening to fall down. If it does, it won’t break them, probably – but it would hurt them, badly, and Pearl doesn’t want Blue and Yellow to get hurt ever again. 

(It’s one of those delusional thoughts that Yellow despises. _You can’t keep everyone safe_ , she snorts. Pearl feels useless). 

It happens one night, in the most unpredictable way possible. They’re on the couch, Blue has fallen asleep with her head on Pearl’s lap, and her and Yellow are just now ending the game of checkers they have started half an hour before. 

«I win» Pearl smirks as she moves her piece all the way up, careful to keep her voice down. 

Yellow growls, but maybe it’s the same fear of waking Blue up – and Steven, who is quietly snoring in his room over their heads – that stops her from throwing the board in the air as Pearl imagined. 

«Stupid game» she mutters. «I hate you, White». 

And it shouldn’t mean anything – it is said with an offended and amused tone, the same tone Yellow always has when things don’t go her way – but something clicks in the back of Pearl’s mind and she remains still, surprised by herself. 

Yellow bends over the board and follows the pieces with one finger, frowning, wondering what has she done wrong to lose. Pearl chews on her bottom lip. 

«You know» she murmurs, hesitant, «that’s exactly what you told me the day I went away». 

The finger Yellow is moving stops in midair. The silence that follows is heavy and uncomfortable, and if it wasn’t for Blue on her lap, Pearl would be shifting in her spot.  
Yellow slowly raises her head. There is a hint of surprise and coldness in her eyes. 

«I tell you that a lot» she objects, calmly, calmer than Pearl expected. «Why are you thinking about that time in particular?» 

Pearl takes her reply as a last offer to back up, but if they don't talk about it now, she doubts they ever will.  
She keeps chewing on her lip. 

«You’re still angry» she tries, «aren’t you?» 

Yellow shakes her head and sighs. Her gaze meets the floor and there it stays.  
More seconds that Pearl can stand pass before she finally talks. 

« _You left_ » Yellow says, and it’s not an accusation, just a fact. «You lied to us, you made a choice, and then you left. All we had, all we’ve built. And you left. Am I supposed to forget about all of that?» 

Pearl remembers the lies, lies that didn’t seem so big at first, and that got out of hand after a while. Lies about where she had been, lies about Rose, and then lies about how she would have always stayed, when she already knew she was about to leave. Always telling herself _“I’ll tell them next time”_ , or _“I’m not going to leave for real”_ , until she was running away and Yellow was screaming and Blue was crying. 

«No, of course not» she answers, her mouth dry.  
«For a while, I truly hated you» Yellow admits. «And I hated Rose Quartz. Oh, how much I hated her. Honestly, I’m not going to tell you I’m sorry she’s dead, because I’m not» she sighs again, the fingers she hasn't realized to have nailed on the couch relax. «Yes, for a while I’ve hated you more than anything else». 

Hearing what she feared sends shivers along Pearl’s spine, but she’s glad for Yellow’s honesty. She looks down at Blue, smiling gently as she sleeps, and brushes her fingers through her hair. 

«Blue is angry, too» she says.  
«No» Yellow’s reply is too immediate to be fake, and she isn't tactful enough to lie. «She’s not angry. She’s _scared_. I’m pretty sure that if you ever leave us again, her gem will crack out of pain. You _hurt_ her, White. You hurt us». 

Again, Yellow’s tone is not accusatory. It’s calm and considerate, as when Pearl scolded a eight-year-old Steven for running around the house and accidentally breaking a glass, a tone that she wouldn't expect from her. Pearl lowers her eyes, ashamed, guilty. 

«I’m sorry».  
«Of course you are. But it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change what you did».  
«I never meant to hurt you».  
«But you did. You _knew_ what would hurt us, and you did it anyway».  
«I’m sorry».  
« _Who cares?_ It’s not going to change anything now! It’s not going to change the fact that you _left us behind_!» 

That’s the Yellow she knows, that’s the fire, that’s the flame. That’s the one who can keep many feelings inside until they explode – Pearl knows that trick very well, too.  
Yellow puts one hand in front of her mouth when her voice grows louder. She checks on Blue and then over her head, both her and Steven still asleep, and then she falls back on the couch. She holds her head, as if thinking and speaking feels difficult. 

«Listen, I’m not _angry_ » she says, slowly. «Not anymore. And seeing where we are now, maybe you even did the right thing, after all. You probably did. That’s me, never wanting to change anything. You were made to change things, White, and we were just holding you back».  
«No» Pearl’s reply is just as quick as Yellow’s has been before. «You never held me back. The Diamonds did».  
«There’s no difference. We couldn’t keep you there forever. You would have left even without Rose Quartz, even without a whole revolution to follow you. You would have left because you _had_ to. You had to free yourself, and you did, and you hurt us, but now we’re all here, so it didn’t end so bad». 

She waits, silent. Pearl’s eyes, fixated on the floor, slowly raise to meet hers. 

«What I’m trying to say is» Yellow concludes, «that even if we haven’t forgotten, it doesn’t mean we haven’t forgiven you». 

And there is something, _something_ , in those words spoken with slight hesitation and a faint blush that the dark is trying to hide, that makes Pearl wet her cheeks with tears. 

«Oh, don’t start crying now» Yellow rolls her eyes. «Really, you’re impossible». 

Pearl wipes her tears away with the back of her hand, before they can fall on Blue’s peaceful face. 

«You’re wrong» she smiles. «You changed things too. You’re here. You’re both here».  
«Yeah» Yellow shrugs. «I guess we are».  
«I’m never going to leave you again». 

Yellow shoots her a glare that it’s both a challenge and a warning. 

«That's exactly what you told us the day before you went away» it’s not a mocking of what Pearl said before, but it could appear as one. «And that’s why I won’t settle for words. I need facts».  
«You’ll have them».  
«And if you _do_ leave us again, I promise I’m going to break you with my two hands».  
«Cute».  
«I hate you so much».  
«I hate you too». 

Blue shifts on Pearl’s lap and her gem glows, the faint light of a dream threatening to come out. Pearl gently brushes her hair with one hand and with the other searches for Yellow’s, she finds it, she holds it. 

It’s the warmest promise she could wish for.


	6. They're Free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [anonymous asked:   
> The Pearls from the island (the majority of them) meet the Watermelon Stevens after they decide to explore Earth via the Warp Pads.] 
> 
> Alright, quick explanation here. I didn't plan to pick up again that series of stories about Pearl's revolution ("Like a drop of water in the sea", "Going Home", etc) because I didn't like the idea very much anymore, and I wanted to concentrate on only polypearls, but this anon sent me a lot of requests and I felt bad for not answering them. Plus the idea is cute. And so I thought that it could stick around the "7 ways to say I love you without saying I love you" idea because you know, pride and caring and stuff.   
> So. This short fic is a little different. I hope you enjoy anyway!

They watch. 

They, the Watermelons. They’re watching. With their curly heads and zigzagged mouths and seeds-like eyes, they’re watching. Some hold smaller melons, some hold each other, some peek out of a tree or a bush. They watch. 

They watch as the recently repaired warp keeps shining a cone of light after another, and more Pearls appear. They are of different colors – shades of red and green and purple and white and black and how many colors do actually exist? – and wear different styles of clothes, but they all look amazed, and confused, and hesitant.   
Some of them, too, hold on each other. One in particular, with hair a little curly, if only was green with white stripes could easily be mistaken for a tall Watermelon herself. 

They walk around, looking at the surroundings. It’s not the first island they see – they live on one now – but it’s _new_ , and new is always amazing, especially for them. They’re dozens, because they never go in less than dozens, they’re still afraid of staying away, and from the way some of their gems shine it’s probable that they will show very detailed holograms to the other Pearls when they’ll be back. They touch the leaves, they smell the flowers, they move carefully and gracefully. 

They don’t notice the Watermelons immediately. When they do they stop, and they gasp, and so do the edible natives, and for a moment the fear meanders among the two groups and the silent confrontation could end very badly. 

And then there’s this one Pearl, of a violet very light, that moves forward, slowly, cautious. Some try to grab her wrist and keep her in line, but there is no line – there is no one in command, there is no one giving them orders – so she walks towards the Watermelons.   
The natives are almost imperceptibly retroceding, leaving the one with the straw hat and the stick in front. The purple Pearl identifies him as the leader – they are, sadly, very skilled in that – and keeps walking slowly towards him. 

Once she has reached him, she hesitates again. She bites her bottom lip – _they’re all the same, all the same_ – clearly unsure of how to act, clearly uncomfortable in watching from top to bottom, and then stretches her hand and there it remains, in midair, shaking a little. 

The wind beats time and sings between the trees while they watch each other in the eyes. 

And then everything happens rather quickly. The Watermelon in charge takes the hand the Pearl is offering and shakes it, opening his mouth in a weird but sincere smile and emitting an incomprehensible sound.   
The other Watermelons cry out of joy immediately after, and any caution or reservation disappears. They run towards the Pearls and jump and laugh and take their hands and drag them along and show them the island and the Pearls smile and their eyes shine. 

Meanwhile, they watch. 

«I don’t understand what’s happening». 

Yellow shakes her head, sounding annoyed, _ever so casually_ holding Pearl’s hand – and Pearl smirks, because when will she admit that she actually likes it? 

«They’ve made friends» Pearl says.   
«Just like that? No, listen, this is something _Blue_ could do» she points at Blue at the other side of Pearl, resting her head on her shoulder. «I’m not going to believe that all Pearls have this ability because that would mean that the defective one here is me».   
«It’s because you don’t even try».   
«It’s because _I don’t want_ to try».

Blue gently pulls Pearl’s arm to catch her attention, and then points at the Watermelons that are still running and laughing and tilts her head. 

«Oh, Steven made those» Pearl explains.   
«How?» Yellow wonders, puzzled.   
«I don’t know. I haven’t really understood his explanation. I know that they really cared about him. They were fighting us until Steven let them free to go away».   
«Reminds me of something». 

They share a look that says everything and not enough, but words would do even less. Blue’s wide smile is, as always, the most eloquent, and she appears to shine, and she points at the two groups again, jumping just a little. 

«You’re probably right» Pearl concedes. «That’s why they have made friends so easily. They _understand_ ».   
«I don't» Yellow mutters, but aside from one amused look, Pearl doesn’t let herself be interrupted.   
«I think they can stay here. Without always looking up at us, waiting for us to go check on them. Alone. In peace. With friends. I think this is the perfect place». 

Blue nods. She then bites her bottom lip – _they’re all the same_ – and gently presses a finger against Pearl’s chest.   
Pearl looks at her, confused, but Yellow is quicker to interpret her gestures, since they represents what she’s thinking, too. 

«They look up at _you_ » she translates, with a smirk that it’s together of pride and admiration and resignation. «You are the Renegade, after all. _You_ are their Steven». 

Pearl blinks a couple of times and then rolls her eyes. She puts both of her arms around their shoulders and pulls them closer – for Blue’s pleasure and Yellow’s embarrassment. 

«Don’t be absurd» she replies. «You two brought them here. You gave them happiness».   
«But-»   
«Just watch them. You made this». 

And they watch. Pearls kneeled to pet a Watermelon dog, Pearls discoursing with Watermelon women in a mixed language of both theirs, the Watermelons’, and gestures; Pearls showing holograms and Watermelons pointing at the big statue that can be seen even if they are far away from the city they’ve built.   
Pearls smiling, Pearls laughing, Pearls that don’t stand uptight and still and that sit on the wet grass like it’s the most normal thing in the world. 

«They’re free». 

There is only pride and affection in Pearl’s voice, because the Pearls are free but Blue and Yellow are too, mostly, and they have accomplished just as much as she has if not more, probably more, surely more. 

Blue rests her head on Pearl’s shoulder again. Her hands wrap around her waist.   
Yellow crosses her arms, nods, her cheeks a light shade of orange. 

«You may be right». 

And they watch, for another while.


	7. We Too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Last chapter for the last day of the Pearlshipping bomb! Very short, but conclusive, I think it says what it needs to say. I hope.   
> Thank you SO MUCH to everyone who has commented. See you on a next fic!

Pearl spends days searching for the right words. 

No, actually, that’s a lie. She knows the right words by heart, they’re three and very easy to remember – and it’s not like she hasn’t said them before, to _them_ , to another – but she spends days searching for the right way to tell them. Those words suddenly weight more than Pearl remembered, and she’s afraid because they could crush her if she says them wrong, or if they don’t answer. 

Blue is patiently listening to Yellow complain about _something_ when Pearl finally musters up the courage. She moves closer to the counter where they are standing, hands behind her back to hide how nervously she’s interlacing her fingers, and coughs to get their attention. 

«I need to tell you both something» she announces. 

Blue smiles, immediately interested – she always is – and Yellow concedes her enough consideration to interrupt her grumbles. 

«What is it?» she asks.   
«I…» 

Pearl’s mind is blank all of sudden. 

She means those words with all her heart, she shouldn’t be afraid. But her mouth is dry and she can’t talk, and _what if it’s been too much time_ , _what if they laugh_ , _what if they don’t feel the same anymore_ , _what if she’s wanting too much_. 

«We too».   
«What?» Pearl blinks, meeting Yellow’s amused grin and Blue gentle’s smile.   
«I said, we too. We love you too». 

If it wasn’t absolutely inappropriate, Pearl’s jaw would have dropped open. Her face must be a mirror of her confusion, because Blue starts giggling. 

«How did you know what I was about to say?» she asks, cautious.   
«Oh, come on. Face all flushed, hands behind the back, stuttering? We _know_ you, White». 

And it’s true. They know her. They’ve known her since the start, since the age of frilly dresses and hairstyle to match her Diamond, they know her even if she’s changed in all these years.   
She realizes that she hasn’t changed that much, not in their eyes, anyway. Her chest warms at the thought. 

«And we know you love us» Yellow shrugs. «This conversation is superfluous». 

Pearl finds herself laughing, blinking to dry the tears that are making her eyes watery. They know, and she knows they feel the same, and all the weight on her shoulders disappears. 

If it works, and they’re happy, and _she’s_ happy, then everything is alright. 

«I love you» she finally reveals, if it is even a revelation now, and the words roll on her tongue perfectly, she wonders why was she so afraid before. 

Blue’s smile grows wider, she forms a heart with the shape of her hands. 

«As I was saying» Yellow rolls her eyes, grinning, «superfluous. Now, do you mind? I was complaining». 

Pearl laughs and walks closer. Blue’s lips meet hers almost immediately – and they’re sky and sweets and sparks. Yellow mumbles something under her breath, but then casually keeps Pearl close longer than necessary – her lips are fire and sun and sparks.   
Pearl leans against the counter, smiles.

«I’m listening».


End file.
